Do The Work
Price Setting: "There are people who need but cannot afford my help"
by Molly Gordon, MCC

There's nothing like The Work of Byron Katie for investigating stressful thoughts, including those about pricing. Here is a sample worksheet exploring the thought, There are people who need but cannot afford my help.

Is it true?
Well, there are people who say they want my help, maybe even some who say they "need" it, who also say they cannot afford it. And I see people whom I think need my help but cannot afford it. So, yes, I'm going to say that this is true.

Can you absolutely know that it is true?
No. I can't be absolutely certain that anyone needs me or that they cannot afford my help. In this moment, I have no way of knowing that anyone would be better off as the result of getting my help or that they would be worse off without it.

How do you react when you believe that thought? What happens?
I feel guilty as though it is wrong to be able to help people who cannot afford to hire me. I feel pressured to provide support to unspecified others. I get uncomfortable, and I wonder where that support would begin and end. How do I know whom I am supposed to help? What if more people ask for more than I can or want to give?

What kind of pictures do you see when you believe that thought? Where does your mind travel?
I imagine turning away someone who needs me because they don't have the money. In my mind, I attack me for being greedy and uncaring.

On the other hand, I see myself being generous. I like feeling that I am a good person, and I enjoy thinking that I am helping. Then, sometimes, my mind travels to getting overwhelmed, and I remember times when I have felt taken advantage of.

I get a kind of heady feeling, seeing myself doing a lot of good in the world. I like feeling needed, and I like to imagine myself making a difference in people's lives.

I start trying on different fee structures in my mind. My thoughts bounce from one fee to another and back again. Is it fair to give a discount to one person and not another? If I offer a sliding scale, will I make enough money?

Whose business are you in when you think that thought?
I know I am not in my business because my head is spinning and I feel either anxious and alone or very "spiritual" and inspired -- a sure sign that I am not in my own business.

What's the worst thing that could happen without this thought?
If I were successful, people would criticize me for being selfish.

Who would you be without the thought?
Without the thought that there are people who need my help but can't afford to hire me, I would be level, at ease. I see myself being curious, wondering if I will be working with a person rather than attaching to whether or not I "should" be. I feel light.

Turn-arounds
Original thought: There are people who need but cannot afford my help.

TA1: There are people who don't need but cannot afford my help.
Absolutely. This feels truer, and I notice there's not charge to this thought. It's a "duh" thought, a no-brainer with no pressure attached to it.

TA2: There are people whose help I need but who can't afford to hire me.
When I believe that there are people who need me and can't afford to hire me, I am using them to make me feel important and needed. I need their help to feel legitimate and okay about myself.

TA3: There are people whose help I need but whom I can't afford to hire.
Well. I have certainly believed this in the past. And given that I am here and whole in this moment, it seems obvious that it wasn't true. How could I have needed help that I did not get if I am just fine now?

TA4: I need my help but I can't afford to hire me.
This is true when I live as though people who cannot afford to hire me need me to help them anyway. I can't afford to help myself because I am busy giving help away to make me feel important or good.

TA5: There are people who need my help who can afford to hire me. This is true. I have clients who need my help and are able to pay my fees. I know of people who pay coaches a lot more than I charge for similar work. As far as I can tell there are plenty of people who need my help and can afford to hire me.

Underlying beliefs:
It is wrong to charge more for my work than someone who wants it can pay.

People need my help.

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